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The World's Biggest Problem is not hunger. It is not disease. It is not war, it is not discrimination, it is not murder or inequality, or overfarming... It is all of these wrapped up in one simple theme: Empathy.

This is not a value I struggle with, because it's become ingraved into the very fiber of my being. It distracted me yesterday in yoga class, when a guy came a little late and couldn't find a place to put down his mat because no one would move for him. It's so simple, and it costs very little when you practice it all the time. It's even better when everyone shares the burden of the individual's pain. In this case, instead of one person feeling bad and distracting everyone to move, a natural, easy shift of a few inches by the whole class in response to a simple problem would have solved that poor guy's problem. I know this is not a life-or death example, but it is one of the most recent ones that came to mind.

It happens every day. We see homeless people and think "what a shame" and do nothing. We hear about Ferguson and ISIS and North Korea and feel a little stir, but it's not enough to compel anyone to action. That's just a symptom of the greater problems in each of those places. One fundamentalist group believes their way is the only way, completely lacking in empathy for their fellow man who may not agree with them. Who might be killed for disagreeing, or for being a woman, or for being gay. A gay man is denied a pizza for his wedding because the owner of that restaurant can't feel what it is to be a gay man and understand the pain he goes through for something he can't change. Or the white racist cop who pulls over a man for Driving While Black, claiming the statistics are on his side when they just reflect the actions of many racist cops... not daring to think for a moment what it would be like if the roles were reversed.

Treat others how you want to be treated. We're supposed to learn this in Kindergarten. If I push someone, maybe I feel good because they made fun of me... but if the roles were reversed, is that going to make me feel better or worse? The thing is, we NEED to be taught this. I don't think it's human nature to do this... it's a Dog Eat Dog world, and natural selection will take us away. Well I hate to break it to you, but we don't have to live that way anymore. We don't have to outrun our clan so we don't get eaten by the dinosaurs. We band together and help one another towards a common goal. We've adapted to understand this... Fight alone and die, stay together and win. But we need to be taught that only serving ourselves is not adaptive. Children will do this... they get their needs met by their parents for performing certain behaviors. They are selfish, but they have to be to survive. But there comes a point when they must learn that only serving themselves harms other people. Mom and Dad are sacrificing every moment to serve their kid... and at some point the kid needs to learn it benefits them to serve back, because they need to understand cost and reward.

It's the same thing I say when asked for any advice on just about anything. When I drive for Lyft, my passengers will sometimes use me as a therapist. I mean, they see me once in their lives, sometimes (but rarely) twice. Recently I was asked whether I thought it was weird that this girl's date asked her for dinner at 9:30pm... wanted to know what it meant. I said what she expected at first... well he might have been drinking all day or going on other dates or who knows what. But he could also have just had a lot of work to do that day, even if it was Saturday, and he really wanted to meet her and make it work. She admitted he was in a programming bootcamp (HA!). Well there you go! The poor guy is working 80 hours a week learning to code (No, it wasn't DBC) and you're worried about his intentions? Think from his perspective, have some empathy for his situation, and then realize your question is based solely in your own insecurity. Sure, some guys are just assholes, but being jaded is, for me, another way of saying "cutting off my empathy". Think about that.

This can affect stereotype threat in a positive way. If I walk into a math class filled with Asians, I may feel insecure because I'm not Asian so I might not be as good at math as these guys. Or I could think about my fellows in the room, who see a person who reeks of white privilege who will probably get in better with the teacher because of my skin color. Then I can decide to be the empath I have grown to be, and form friendships, and ask for help, and give as much help as I can in the class. To work toward understanding as much as I can of the math, and to recognize when my Asian colleagues are feeling insecure over their own stereotype threat issues for having me or anyone else in the class. Self-awareness and empathy go a long way.

I may want to revisit this blog post and make it a little more concise... but I decided just to let the words flow for this one. I've talked a lot about empathy and am very big on this value, so I have a lot to say. What do you have to say about empathy?